I’ve literally always been the fat girl, my father believed that with every meal you needed to have dessert afterwards. And that’s where my addiction to food started. My eating habits were horrible as a kid and all through high school. My mother always picked fun at me saying I had a “color palate”, I would only eat things that were the color yellow or white, which sadly was so true.
Almost my full senior year of high school I ate canned ravioli for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I never exercised and I gave up my love for sports because of my insecurities. I would stop at McDonald’s on my way home, lay on the couch while watching tv and eat to mask the pain of being insecure. I would think some of the most awful things about myself, “you fatass, why can’t you just eat some damn vegetables and go for a walk”. I would look in the mirror and cry and say horrible things to myself. I was bitter to everyone I met in high school, I convinced myself no one wanted to be friends with the fat girl, that no one had anything nice to say about me (which was usually true). I was eating myself alive.
I finally made it through high school but my eating habits never changed. I would eat mostly
McDonald’s and cold cereal. I finally met a boy that showed some interest in me and I decided something had to change, I didn’t want him to see me eating like the way I was.
After a few months of continuing to eat nothing healthy, I was doubled over in pain one night with stomach pain. My boyfriend had convinced me that something was wrong and we went to the ER. After a HIDA scan we discovered that the functionality of my gallbladder was 0%. The bile was starting to poison my blood. I was also diagnosed with fatty liver disease. I can remember my doctors exact words, “I’ve never diagnosed someone so young, but you have fatty liver disease and you’ll need to go in for emergency surgery within the week.” Talk about a reality check.
I lost my father shortly after my gallbladder was removed and I spiraled in to a black hole. Depression hit me like a dump truck and I just flat out quit eating. I lost 50 pounds in 3 months.
I was able to over come my depression when I found out that I was expecting a baby, however, I used growing another human inside me as an excuse to form a food addiction again. I literally jumped from being addicted to NOT eating to being addicted to eating CONSTANTLY. I weighed 262.8 pounds on the day I gave birth. So here I am again, riding the wonderful roller coaster of weight loss.
Would you like to know how I lost my first 50 pounds postpartum? How I Lost 50 lbs Postpartum