I was so beyond excited about growing another little human inside my body that I instantly overcame my anorexia. And as they say, you jump from one addiction to another, so I reformed an addiction to food. I used pregnancy as an excuse to over eat and eat everything that’s horrible. I was 146 pounds the day I discovered my pregnancy. The day I gave birth? I weighed a whopping 262.8 pounds.
I’m pretty ashamed that I allowed myself to reach nearly 300 pounds. And I use that as a motivator. I hate when I look in the mirror and dislike what I see or to be out in public and feel completely uncomfortable because I feel like everyone sees just a fat girl. That’s when I decided it was time for a change, I’m not going to feel sorry for myself anymore. I’m not going to spend my life wishing I am someone else.
After my failed attempt to “diet” I changed my entire outlook on losing weight. I trashed all of the junk food in the house and focused on, “If I don’t want my daughter to eat it, I’m not going to eat it either”. I stopped saying, “I can’t have that” and instead I started saying, “I don’t want that”. I focused on fueling my body with true nutrients, not just eating to fill an empty stomach (or in my case a sad and bored stomach). It was truly that simple for me, a switch flipped in my brain. I accepted that I am fat and the only way to change it is if I completely altered my lifestyle. I held myself accountable instead of blaming stress, poverty, anxiety, etc.
Proportions is what makes the difference! I was the Queen of binge eating, I would eat non-stop from 3PM until I literally went to sleep. Now I will only serve myself the portion recommended on the packaging. When I crave something sweet I will have peanut butter on an apple. I keep myself busy with many tasks (blogging, cleaning, playing with my daughter). I found most of my binge eating was because of boredom.
I’ve fallen off the wagon many times, and I’m still no where close to my goal. But don’t let one slip up ruin it for you! Don’t give up! Okay, so you ate a piece of chocolate cake, whatever, but don’t give into the guilt! I am proud of myself every single step of the way. It’s not easy, but it’s possible, and every day it gets a little easier.